Work-Life Balance or Work-Life Juggling? A Guide for Pakistani Moms

As I sat in my living room, sipping chai and listening to my friend Ayesha's story, I couldn't help but feel a sense of solidarity with her. She was a working mother, juggling her job at a multinational company in Lahore with taking care of her two kids and managing the household. Her day started at 5 am, with a quick workout, followed by getting the kids ready for school, and then rushing to the office. She would often work late, only to come home and start cooking dinner, while also helping the kids with their homework. And then, there were the weekends, spent running errands, attending family gatherings, and trying to squeeze in some quality time with her husband, Zain.

I remember thinking to myself, "How does she do it all?" But, as I looked around the room, I saw the exhaustion in her eyes, the weight of the world on her shoulders. She was not alone in this struggle. Many Pakistani moms, like Ayesha, are expected to be the primary caregivers, manage the household, and still maintain a successful career. The pressure to conform to societal expectations can be overwhelming, and the fear of "log kya kahenge" (what people will say) can be a constant source of stress.

The Reality Check

We've all been sold the idea that we need a supportive husband, a helpful family, and a flexible job to achieve work-life balance. But, the truth is, you don't need any of those things to succeed. What you need is a plan, a strategy, and a willingness to make tough choices. You need to learn to say no, to set boundaries, and to prioritize your own needs. You need to recognize that you can't do it all, and that it's okay to ask for help.

Setting Boundaries

To achieve work-life balance, you need to set clear boundaries between your work and personal life. This means learning to say no to requests that encroach on your personal time, and setting realistic expectations with your employer and family. For example, you might decide to not check work emails or take work calls during family time, or to leave the office at a certain time every day. You might also need to have an open and honest conversation with your husband and family about your needs and expectations.

Prioritizing Self-Care

Self-care is not a luxury, it's a necessity. As a working mom, you need to prioritize your own physical and mental health, in order to be able to take care of your family and perform at work. This means making time for activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies. It also means taking breaks, resting when you need to, and seeking help when you're struggling.

Meet Fatima, a 35-year-old marketing manager from Karachi, who had to learn to prioritize her own needs in order to achieve work-life balance. She started by setting clear boundaries with her employer and family, and making time for self-care activities such as yoga and reading. She also learned to say no to requests that didn't align with her values or goals, and to seek help when she needed it.

Fatima's story is a testament to the fact that work-life balance is possible, even in the midst of chaos. It requires intention, discipline, and a willingness to make tough choices. But, the payoff is worth it - a sense of fulfillment, a happy family, and a successful career.

Creating a Support System

As a working mom, you don't have to do it all alone. You can create a support system of family, friends, and colleagues who can help you manage your responsibilities. This might mean hiring a nanny or a housekeeper, or asking a family member to help with childcare. It might also mean joining a community of working moms, or seeking mentorship from a more experienced woman.

💡 Quick Win

Today, take 10 minutes to reflect on your priorities and values. Ask yourself, what matters most to me? What are my non-negotiables? What can I say no to, in order to make space for what's truly important? Write down your answers, and post them somewhere visible, as a reminder of your intentions.

As you embark on this journey of achieving work-life balance, remember that it's a marathon, not a sprint. It's okay to stumble, to make mistakes, and to ask for help. You are not alone, and you are not expected to be perfect. What you are expected to do, is to show up, with intention, discipline, and a willingness to learn and grow. So, take a deep breath, and let's do this, together.